If you are not living on the edge, You're just not living!!!

I read somewhere, (and I am paraphrasing here) that For a Man to truly become a Man, he has to first kill his Father. WHAT! What kind of insane mumbo jumbo is this?!?!? Which philosopher stone (rock) was this guy smoking?

The notion almost made me sick to my stomach. Especially since I have a great Dad, Especially since I have always been surrounded by great men, who have left indelible marks - Road posts for greatness. In many ways they have been Fathers to me. Kill them? And what about those of us who grow up without a Father in their life? Are they doomed to perpetual boyhood, till they shank someones Father.

It was that night in class and shortly after reading this line, that in typical Malenga fashion he zeroed in on the essence of my dilemma and giving clarity to a perplexing situation, stated the line that is the title of this post. “If you are not living on the edge, You're just not living!!!” Damn! It is uncanny how he does that.

You see every culture, society, family unit, - and therefore person - has a unique way of seeing things and unique ways to express a feeling or sentiment. (So to indulge this brain fart a bit further.) Living on the edge is a practice we learn to embrace in TUF. Not the wild boy, mad dog “edge living” like Tom Cruise in Top Gun (although it is sometimes TUF(1) to tell the difference). No “edge” more like standing at the bow of a ship, certain of the destination but not necessarily the course, embracing the highs AND staying the course during the lows, seeing unexpected change as an opportunity to adjust the course.

What does this have to do with Killing ones Father?

Bing! Thought you’d never ask. Well first lets look at ones “Father”, Physical or not, it is that element in our life we lean on. That we look to for strength. The goto “guy” when we enter new situations (or difficult times) and don’t know what to do. Some of us have someone we could expect that type of support from, others find it in father figures, Strong Mothers; still others build callous resentment for either “not having a Father” (2) or not having one {fill in the blank} - (you like, you could depend on, or who fits the image of “Fatherness”). It is your response, when your tried and true routine is challenged by new circumstances. What do you do when all your calculations are correct and yet the expected result doesn’t occur? What/Who do you lean on for support (read comfort). Do you even try? Where do you turn? What do you do when that support, excuse/lie is abruptly removed, Think quick! - you’re at the edge.

The point is, there is something in life that we ascribe greater strength to. As a child it appears bigger than life. As a child thinketh. . . Fear it, love it,- Whatever qualities we ascribe this person, place or thing, it’s more than likely a drop of truth mixed in a sea of fantasy. As children we are allowed this one vice, we have to, it helps us navigate a world where just about everything is a new challenge. As adults . . . it is a bad chemical mix for destructive behavior, dependency and an unfulfilled life.

In many indigenous societies the expectation for one reaching adulthood - is to survive in the wilderness with little more than a stick, a stone or best intentions. What do you do when you are on your own? When "new challenges" are the terrain? SIMPLE, you live in the moment. You rely on your training, on the time tested principles you have practiced, on intuition, whatever you need to re-emerge from the challenge, mentally, physically and spiritually intact, etc. The alternative - curling up into a ball, etc. - is unacceptable.

“Killing Fathers” is a metaphor [keyword METAPHOR (albeit morbid)]to help us courageously face what awaits us at the edge. Remember a “Win is a Win” and “No one said it has to be pretty”

TUF!!!!

RAKS - “ELBOWS”

The 1st Graduating Class

1 Couldn't Resist

2. Biologically Impossible